Don't Tease Old Ladies

>Defense Attorney:
>Will you please state your age?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>I am 86 years old.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
>evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you know him?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, but he sure was friendly.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened after he sat down?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>He started to rub my thigh.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you stop him?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, I didn't stop him.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Why not?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>It felt good. Nobody had done that since>my Albert died some 30 years ago.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened next?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>He began to rub my breasts.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you stop him then?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, I did not stop him.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Why not?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. >I haven't felt that good in years!
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened next?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him
>"Take me, young man. Take me now!"
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did he take you?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" >And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.